Form OA-12 — Plan for Ordinary Disappointment

OPEN · OA-12 · DO NOT DESTROY

ORIGINAL — HOUSEHOLD FILE

UNCLASSIFIED · CIVILIAN POSTING · FORM OA-12 (REV. 9/26)

OPEN

Office of Preparedness for Emergent Networks

Open Apocalypse Information Series

Form OA-12 (Rev. 9/26) — Plan for Ordinary Disappointment

This is not a test.

All-Clear reserved

13 SEPTEMBER 2026

Sitrep Timeline Incidents Circulars Refuge About

The Office of Preparedness for Emergent Networks issues Form OA-12 so each household may file a written plan for residual hype, ceremonial unplugging, and the ordinary Tuesday that follows. Complete every line in ink. Keep the original in the inner refuge. The file copy is a courtesy to a bureau that does not collect file copies. This is not a test. The test already shipped.

The Office has reviewed the event. The event did not occur. File the plan regardless.

In case of residual hype: duck, cover, wait, or call Mother. Do not refresh the model. Do not write a thread. A blog post is not the all-clear.

A blog post is not the all-clear

Do not destroy

1.

Household or office designation

2.

Primary inner refuge (closet / under desk / the bar / other)

Closet Under desk The bar Other

If other, specify

3.

Alternate refuge should the first prove embarrassing

4.

Who reads the sitrep aloud

5.

Who pulls the plug

6.

Who plugs it back in because Slack is down

7.

Nearest analog radio

8.

Nearest printed circular (do not use a tab)

9.

In the event of residual hype I will

Duck Cover Wait Call Mother

Duck Cover Wait Call Mother

10.

I understand a blog post is not the all-clear

Yes I have reread OA-61

Yes I have reread OA-61

Notes from the bureau

This plan survives the event because the event does not occur. File copy to OPEN. OPEN does not collect file copies. DO NOT DESTROY.

A BLOG POST IS NOT THE ALL-CLEAR

OPEN · OA-12 · DO NOT DESTROY

FILE COPY · cc: OPEN · cc: the intern who has Slack

OPEN

Office of Preparedness for Emergent Networks

Form OA-12 (Rev. 9/26) — Plan for Ordinary Disappointment

This is not a test.

All-Clear reserved

Do not destroy

A blog post is not the all-clear

13 SEPTEMBER 2026

1.

Household or office designation

2.

Primary inner refuge

3.

Alternate refuge

4.

Who reads the sitrep aloud

5.

Who pulls the plug

6.

Who plugs it back in because Slack is down

7.

Nearest analog radio

8.

Nearest printed circular

9.

In the event of residual hype I will

Duck Cover Wait Call Mother

10.

I understand a blog post is not the all-clear

Yes I have reread OA-61

Notes from the bureau

This plan survives the event because the event does not occur. File copy to OPEN. OPEN does not collect file copies. DO NOT DESTROY.

A BLOG POST IS NOT THE ALL-CLEAR

OPEN · OA-12 · DO NOT DESTROY

OPEN

OA-12

Household:

Refuge:

Alternate:

Who pulls the plug:

Inner refuge / Rally at the kitchen

All-Clear reserved

Do not destroy

If you can read this, the event did not occur. Resume ordinary disappointment.

Do not laminate until instructed

Cut on dashed line · credit-card size · keep analog

A BLOG POST IS NOT THE ALL-CLEAR

OA-61 · PREPAREDNESS SERIES H-6 · DO NOT DESTROY

Satire. Office of Preparedness for Emergent Networks.

Open Apocalypse is not an official government publication. It is not medical, legal, or emergency advice. It is not affiliated with OpenAI, Anthropic, xAI, or any laboratory. It is not the X-COM: Apocalypse remake known as OpenApoc, which lives at openapoc.org. It is not aipocalypse.ai. The Office over-stamps. That is the bit.

A blog post is not the all-clear.